By Dakota Pierce

“I just want to be friends.” Ugh. Does anyone ever get tired of that phrase? It’s pretty much the epitome of “No no, nothing is going on here. You were quite mistaken that my flirting and small signs of affection meant anything. You are completely unworthy of my attention, or anyone else’s for that matter. At all.”

“Just friends” is a phrase that sneers. It becomes a face that raises its eyebrows, turns up the corners of its lips in a sardonic and patronizing manner which is still somehow mingled with sympathy. Then in all its confidence, it bares its teeth at you.

I have a feeling that “I just want to be friends” is something that the average college-aged girl hears, oh, every two-point-five seconds. It makes me wonder why women want more than friends anyways.

Who wants to chase after the guy that will inevitably say “I just want to be friends?” And who wants the men to confirm that we’re the whiny, needy, clingy, irrational creatures they seem to think we are?

On another note, I don’t really know what more than “just friends” actually is. I suppose men are scared that women are thinking “we’re made for each other.” But in all honesty, I highly doubt that we are and we’ll most likely never know. But to me, “just friends” never signified any sort of binding, life-long contract with the girl you met two weeks ago. It never meant “hey buddy, we’re attached at the hip now.” It most certainly does not imply “I want to have your babies.”

Well, if the guy were Matthew McConaughey, that might be the case. But seeing as how the majority of men are NOT Matthew McConaughey, they probably don’t need to worry about that.

So for all the “I just want to be friend-ers” out there, we’re rising up to unite against you. We’re going to make up your mind for you, since you can’t do a good enough job on your own. It’s us women against you men, and you know, “just friends” isn’t really good enough for us.

Take a hint, boys. We don’t want to build your home; we’re too young for that. We don’t want to meet your parents; they’ll probably do something weird like show us your baby pictures. We don’t want to take away your “poker ‘n’ beer” night with the boys; we like our gossip night with the girls just fine.

And you know, we aren’t ready to settle either. We don’t want your love and affection. Nor do we want some insignificant, run-of-the-mill space-filling relationship. But we don’t want to be “just friends.” We, the women, want to be “friends … with benefits.”