Any girl who has walked down Pacific Ave. on a Friday night knows something about catcalls. Chances are she also knows a thing or two about how to ignore them. What isn’t so easy to ignore, however, is the brutal response from a neglected cat-caller.

Take, for example, a scene I witnessed this past weekend: Strolling home from the bars, three girls passed a handful of young, exuberant guys who yelled, “Hey layyydies,” “Where’re you goin’?” among other generically sleazy statements. When the girl closest to them responded by giving a smug smile and a “No thanks,” the scrawniest of the bunch shouted after her, “Whatever, you water buffalo dyke!”

Water buffalo dyke? Points for creativity, but please. Aside from the resourceful use of adjective and imagery, this insult is the most hilariously pathetic stinger I’ve ever heard.

First off, if you give someone an insult at least make sure it’s true. Secondly, this didn’t help the young man save face, restore his pride or reassert his manhood, like he surely intended it to. Thirdly, he sounded foolish — chances are, if he was hitting on her a moment ago, he didn’t think she looked too much like a water buffalo then.

While this variation of retort was a first for my ears, it is not at all uncommon for guys to brashly bleat some form of “lesbian” in response to rejection. A bit of clarification for all like-minded alpha males out there: Just because she isn’t into you doesn’t mean she’s a lesbian. And so what if she is? What kind of insult is that? A bigoted and homophobic excuse for an insult, that’s what.

Furthermore, any of the other snarling words that you may pull out of your skeaze-bag hat (skank, ho, slut, bitch, etc.) are also irrelevant and childish ways of expressing yourself. We all know that what you actually meant was, “Ouch! Your rejection sure has wounded my manliness!”

Has it become a matter of safety that we women are often too nice, give fake numbers, forcefully smile and enlist our friends to save us from testosterone-driven predators? Wouldn’t it make things easier for everyone if these sexual marauders could just handle the truth?

Because in reality there are a thousand possible reasons she could have snubbed your advances. Perhaps she has a boyfriend. Perhaps she is in fact a lesbian. Maybe it was your slurring and swaying that deterred her attention. Or was it your inappropriate approach? (Note to “waterbuffalo dyke” fellow: Hollering at a girl when she walks down the street IS NOT a good way to meet her.)

Prowlers, you are well overdue for an upgrade in manners. The next time your pick-up line crashes and burns or your curbside shout doesn’t get the attention you had hoped for, swallow that overflowing heap of pride enough to say something nice — or don’t say anything at all.