By I.J. Partow
Staff Writer
May is National Masturbation Month!
What does it mean to touch oneself? In my mind, masturbation is a beautiful thing. It’s self-reliance, the ultimate cry of independence. In a sexually-charged college atmosphere, masturbating enables people to be alone, truly alone, and OK with it. A night out at the bars and coming home to one’s own bed is nothing — just more time to luxuriate in one’s own thought, one’s own touch.
I’ve met people who have never felt comfortable experimenting with their own bodies. Many of these people are women. When conversation gets down to it, a surprising number of my female friends have memories of touching themselves as children and being shamed because of it. “Don’t touch yourself there,” a parent would say, or “That’s dirty.”
I am not sure if men have had the same experience — until now I’ve never thought to ask. In college I assumed that all of my male friends masturbated, and that some of my female friends did, while others claimed, “I don’t do that.” It’s interesting to think about the gender stereotypes surrounding masturbation, and also what we teach children about personal touch. Either way, whether or not you choose to masturbate is a personal choice. But I do stand by the idea that if you choose to do so, masturbating (in moderation) is healthy and a good thing.
All right, so, that’s that. But to make it a little more fun, because talking about masturbation is always a bit fun, I leave you with two stories: the good and the bad.
First, the bad.
Bonny Doon beach. A beautiful beach you can find in about a 10-minute drive north up Highway 1. It’s incredible really; surrounded by large cliffs, always affording incredible views. On weekends it’s jam-packed with families, picnics and dogs, and naked people. Yup, Bonny Doon also serves as the resident nudie hang out. On the weekends the nudists hang out on the right side of the beach, but during the weekdays all the sand is fair game.
Being a wannabe nudist, two times I’ve decided to hit the sand in my skin — clothes stowed away safely in the beach bag. And two times I’ve been followed around by some creepy guy stroking himself. So while I’m all for masturbating, I do think that you have take into consideration your surroundings – there’s a time and place for these activities, and it’s alone in your bedroom. And to whomever you are — keep it in the pants, or, if you’re not wearing pants, don’t touch your penis while looking at me, at least not without consent. That’s just rude.
The good: Last month a group of girlfriends and I went vibrator shopping together. Now, if you think talking about masturbating and the psyche is interesting, imagine what vibrators do to the conversation. What does it mean to use an inanimate object to give oneself an orgasm? Especially when it’s pink?
A friend of ours, who had purchased a vibrator her freshman year, was shocked when she’d heard that none of us had discovered the carnal pleasures of plastic and batteries. Armed with our wallets and a lot of awkward laughs, we walked downtown to Camouflage and straight into the back room. There, the group of us went quiet as we perused the various toys, and after about a minute of looking (I know what I want) I found it: waterproof and silicone. Score.
The woman who sold us the vibrators was one of the kindest and most understanding salespeople I’d ever encountered. She talked to us about the different kinds of toys, their uses, their benefits, and made me feel empowered about exploring my sexuality. I forget her name, but I’d like to take a second to thank her for her awesome attitude.
After we bought our respective toys, we got some coffee at Lulu’s, and then I rushed home, caffeinated and thrilled that I had the house to myself. And exploring was fun — it brought a whole new mental dimension to masturbating. I still haven’t decided what it means philosophically to have sex with a toy, but I know I like it a lot. So that’s the good.
And with that, go enjoy your alone time.
