Let’s Talk About Sex is a column by Lollie Brande, an aspiring sex educator and the founder of Climax Magazine, a sex-positive online publication.
While a romantic rendezvous of leather and latex makes for sensational fun, the $300 nine-tailed leather dungeon whip can really burn a hole in your wallet. The average university student budget consists of five bucks and some pocket lint, so where can we get the bang (or spank or clamp) without running into a financial wall? Simple. DIY bondage.
Illustrations by Rachel Edelstein, photos by Dylan Chapgier.
Spanking
Quick solution: Common kitchenware. Wooden spoons, rubber spatulas, and flyswatters are great for getting the sting and smack. A wire whisk can be used on and around the genitals for a less intense (but still fantastic) sensation.
For a free (that’s right, free) spanker, visit Home Depot and pick up two wooden paint stirrers. If you can, file or sand down any rough surfaces and edges. Wrap a rubber band once around the end of one of the stirrers, then secure it to the same end of the other and voile!
If your taste runs on the finer side, buy a ping-pong paddle for $3.50 at Jerry’s Sports and channel Martha Stewart for a brief craft session. Hit up the fabric scraps bin (or thrift store) for some faux fur, find some sandpaper, and grab your hot glue gun. Measure, cut, glue, and enjoy.
Flogging
Buy a colorful 100 feet of rope from Home Depot for $9.97 and cut it into around eight or nine equal-length pieces. Save the extra for other adventures. Wrap duct tape around one set of ends and make sure it is tight. For some extra “oomph,” tie knots in the loose ends of the rope.
Clamps
Nipple clamps are simple for students with braces. You know those little rubber bands that your orthodontist says you need to wear, and you swear you do, but in reality they’ve stayed in the bag since the day you got them? Now you can tell them with the upmost confidence that you do, indeed, wear them. Just not on your teeth.
To get the pinch without all the equipment, wrap them as tight as you please around a nipple.This keeps all the clunk of regular clamps out of the way.
You can also take your partner out to I Love Sushi and nab the free chopsticks that come with the meal. Bind the sticks together by securing the rubber bands around the ends. Whatever you want clamped goes between the sticks, pressed down by the bands on the ends.
If craftiness is not your forte, Home Depot also sells blue mini-spring clamps for 37 cents, but test the strength on the skin between your index finger and thumb first, as this will best resemble the feeling it will give to a nipple. There’s nothing worse than too-tight clamps on sensitive bits.
You can also surprise your partner and pull a bobby pin out of your (or, to mix it up, his/her) hair and clamp it right on there. Not too pinched and not loosely dangling. It clamps just right and can make the “behind your ear” trick sexy for once.
Restraint
Scarves, ties, ropes, and pantyhose work just fine, but for some high-quality cuffs, one needs to go no further than Cowell’s Surf Shop near the Boardwalk. Surf leashes, running anywhere between $11.95 (for a 3-foot cord) and $25 (for a 6-foot cord) make for awesome bargains on handcuffs.
Because one end is made to attach to a surfboard, these are simple to install. Substitute the board for a piece of bed frame. They’re made with tumbling and thrashing in mind, so be as rough as you and your partner want, these suckers will last.
Plastic wrap also works great as no-stick bondage tape. Use on wrists, ankles, and anything in between (except the mouth, for obvious reasons).
Etc.
Pet stores like PetSmart on River Street have stellar collars for as low as $7.99. Pair it with a cheap leash and you’ve got instant submissive equipment. While you’re there, check out the 97-cent feathery cat toys. The feathers titillate and tease while the long handle can be used as a cane. It’s a two-for-one deal!
Get your college budget BDSM on with these simple, effective and, most importantly, cheap DIY bondage toys. After all, nothing says “I love you” quite like homemade chopstick nipple clamps.