To the untrained eye, Downtown Santa Cruz is host to a wonderful collection of outlets, boutiques, and restaurants designed to satiate the hunger of any consumer. If you take out an earbud and listen closely, you’ll be exposed to a wide cast of characters detailing their own special monologues — either to themselves or to a friend (and in some cases, an audience). 

If you’re lucky, you’ll catch a clever one-liner from someone’s daily musings, or even a long spiel about a social ill. Many of the characters are quite hilarious, in the way that if I was hypothetically included in their dialogue I, too, would be in tears.

I surveyed Pacific Avenue in my free time and illustrated some zingers I came across from Downtown’s wittiest.

“Does it look like I’m cooking for the entire Met Gala? Because it certainly feels like it.”
Person A: I really just don’t know how to make sense of it in a way that’s understandable. Person B: You know, I think what you’re trying to say is that your feelings are valid.
“It’s actually very definitely potentially possible you’re directly connected to that bouncer.”
“Ooooooooh. Habanerrrrrrrro (with a really drawn out rolled ‘r’). Ah— ooh— Spicy. Ouch— “